The Sun rose when our eyes first met;

The impact stopped Time 

As the colours filled our souls.

Usually Helios would move to night:

Luna shining the way,

But mid-heartbeat we live –

Frozen amongst the reflective clouds.

Each cycle it grows,

The colours become brighter,

Painted ladies – thistle butterflies

Fill my heart every time I see you.

I researched the greats:

Those well known for poems

Regarding love –

But even they don’t seem to grasp

What I feel towards you.

Dickenson talks of feeling alive,

Revived from the love she felt;

Of never knowing how hungry 

She actually was – without the feeling

She now holds.

Maybe all of them together:

Dickenson, Shakespeare, Poe, 

Shelley, Keats, Whitman,

Browning, every poet 

That has ever written of love,

That has ever thought of love;

Maybe together, they could articulate

The depth of love I feel for you. 

To feel alive is something I lacked,

Never knowing what was missing.

But with each passing day,

Each question answered,

Each piece of your body memorized,

I uncover a new layer of this emotion.

This beautiful and terrifying feeling

Of loving somebody fully and 

Knowing that they love you back.

In a world with so much hate,

With so much pain and sadness;

Feeling this so fully –

Having the colours of a sunrise

Forever imprinted in my heart –

Is something that I will never take for granted. 

I feel so much love –

It fills me up head to toe

And gets stronger and stronger;

Like a lightbulb getting brighter. 

And it continues past the point 

Where you would expect it to stop.

Then the glass starts to crack.

You try and pour out the love in a poetic form:

In words or pictures,

But this time you can’t.

So it keeps getting more intense 

Until it breaks –

That’s when you’re in a ball, crying 

Because the emotions are just too difficult to process.

That love –

And it’s beautiful,

Being able to love as deeply as I do.

But when you’re an empath or just me,

It builds up inside.

Maybe that’s only part of it –

Maybe it’s the fact that I miss them so much. 

That I miss looking into their eyes,

Laying in their arms,

That I miss our legs crossing at night,

And kisses everywhere,

That I miss their aura,

Their energy 

That fills the room with light,

That I miss their hugs,

Their warmth,

Touching their soul when they’re inside me.

And once a week I get these things. 

It is beautiful

And wonderful,

Perfect –

But only once a week.

And during the other days,

It’s just wanting.

Wanting to go back,

Wanting more,

Wishing for it to last longer –

Because when we are together it feels right.

Like the universe makes sense for once.

But we crossed paths for a reason.

A wonderful, beautiful reason.

One that help us both grow

And become the best versions of ourselves.

So as difficult as it can be,

I know that everything that is happening

Is okay –

Is needed.

A message from the universe.

Things you have made me realize that have fully shattered my sense of self (in the best way):

1. It’s okay to take up space

2. ⁠My soul is beautiful

3. ⁠ Who I am is enough

4. ⁠Being sensitive isn’t bad

5. ⁠There’s beauty in my love

I’m not used to somebody treating me the way you treat me.

With so much patience and compassion and love. 

Who tells who I am is enough - 

That I’m perfect as is

And don’t need to change.

Your love makes me feel warm and safe.

Tonight I think of our love as wisteria. 

It is beautiful-

And as it grows, 

It gets bigger 

And extends-

Becoming even more magical and surreal. 

It climbs up buildings

And overcomes challenges.

It lives for a long long time. 

It’s something that inspires love and connection, 

support and safety. 

The freedom to be yourself and live.

I'm trying to think of different ways to describe my emotions, 

My feelings towards you-

Because I want to never run out of beautiful things that remind me of the feelings I get when I think of you. 

It's like finding a key to a lock that you never knew existed. 

Or the feeling you get on a summer night during a thunderstorm- 

When the entire sky is lighting up.

 Or when you're driving in the Midwest

It is a beautiful, clear, warm day, 

And the sky is gigantic. 

You look up and it's like the sky envelops you. 

It just fills you with possibilities. 

Or the taste of a huckleberry 

That you haven't had in years. 

It's just that sweet tart flavour

That you didn't really forget about, 

But re-experiencing it 

Is absolutely wonderful, beautiful and amazing.

I love you,

For as long as a star shines in the sky.

I think that loving you is one of the most amazing things that I have ever felt in my life

And you reciprocating feels like a cosmic hug-

a feeling of completeness.

It’s just so difficult to describe the level of love that I feel.

All the things that I say or write,

Is just the surface of the depth this love has.

It fills me up 

And I have to tell you or write about it immediately 

Because my body can only carry so much love at one time.

And it’s constant 

You are nowhere near me right now

Yet I still feel your love deep into my bones

And I think of everything that got us here

All of the steps and decisions that led to us meeting

And I thank the universe every day

Because knowing you is life changing.

I think in emotions and images

Past moments will flash in my mind

As clear as when it happened.

Like looking in your eyes on one specific day 

And feeling like my heart is crawling out of my chest to get to you.

The feeling of laughing at your silliness,

The joy and unbelievable connection I have to your soul.

The pull I feel towards you that I’ve felt since our first kiss.

The warmth and safety that I feel in your arms, knowing that I’m where I’m meant to be.

The way you look at me makes me melt- when I see you, it’s the same feeling that I get when I look at the moon- being mesmerized by the beauty in your soul and in our connection.

How can one person love so much?

When I think of you

All of the memories we have made (so far)

Flash through my brain

And it ends with us

Walking hand in hand

And the feeling of absolute happiness,

Fluttering butterflies,

And an indescribable love.

Every day 

My eyes light up

More than the day before

Every week

My smile feels more genuine,

More true;

Every month 

I become closer

To who I’m meant to be.

I’m not saying it’s you,

Or love,

Or any external source-

But you helped the Sun 

Reach through the cracks

Into my soul.

Your kindness

And your warmth,

Made me feel safe enough

To bloom.

And because of those things-

I feel more myself than ever before.

And I’m starting to actually believe

That who I am is enough.

Patience.

I have never been good at that:

To just wait

For a message or a time of day.

The anticipation.

Knowing how amazing it will be

And having to pause,

To wait until it comes.

Minutes feel like hours,

Hours feel like days,

Days feel like a lifetime.

How does one be patient?

How can I be patient?

To be a peace with now;

Without anxiety for what will happen

Or what could happen.

To truly be here

And to enjoy every moment.

How do I do that

When so much of my life has been not great?

And now there is something absolutely wonderful,

But it requires patience,

Waiting,

Planning.

It’s worth it, God is it worth it.

But how do I make it easier?

The sound of the ocean waves

The scent of rain as you pass

The flash of lightning in the sky

The bloom of a flower in Spring

The intricate structure of a bridge

The unfathomable beauty of this Earth

Forehead kisses on the train

Gazing into your eyes

Your laugh

Your smile

Your silliness

Your energy

The way you brush my hair back

The way you make me laugh

The way I feel when I’m with you

The support and encouragement you give

The way you wouldn’t change who I am

How your brain processes music

Your interest in sharks and history

Your fascination in architecture and Shakespeare

You in your entirety, flaws and all

-Things that I love 

(You have my heart)

I think about soulmates and how there are many.

How these people come into our lives

For however long before they part. 

I don’t believe that soulmates always find each other,

Or that there is just one.

I don’t believe that they necessarily help you become better. 

But I do believe in twin flames

And the idea that

Part of your soul is mirrored in another being. 

That there is a person,

Not necessarily romantic or sexual,

That you are destined to meet.

I believe that it can be a platonic or a passionate love. 

It forces you to look at your flaws and weaknesses-

And maybe you aren’t ready to see that. 

But if you are ready,

And the universe draws you together, 

I believe that this person will truly heal the soul-

That it will feel like nothing you’ve ever felt before.

That there is this cosmic pull,

The idea that this person helps you become

The best version of yourself. 

From the start it felt so right

A new beginning, a transformation of sorts;

The next part of my journey in life.

As if black and white is all you see

And then somebody fills your world with color:

Vivid purple thistles and deep green pines, 

A world of beauty.

This love has awakened a part of myself that was missing

For a long time.

The part that feels free and happy to be alive,

The part that is interested in everything

And ready to explore the unknown.

It’s awakened my love for stories and writing and art–

Healing parts that were numb for so long

And encouraging the growth of my soul.

You truly make me a better person.

I love you

Falling is scary 

It’s terrifying and beautiful

Exhilarating and unexpected

And you wake up one morning

And you think about the way they look at you

The way they feel like home

And your stomach fills with butterflies

But then there’s the unknown

Not knowing what will happen

There’s a simplicity of it – 

The magic of two souls finding a connection.

The quick glances in public,

The prolonged eye contact in private.

The feeling that in this crazy and fucked up world,

You have somehow found somebody

That feels like the warmth of the sun,

Whose hugs feel like a calm ocean – 

With love flowing over you softly, with purpose.

Whose aura magnifies and reflects

The best version of yourself.

For somebody who was not expecting this in any sort of way,

You came into my life and just were.

From our long walks and longing bodies,

Our meetups when we just couldn’t be away any longer.

Where we needed to feel our bodies touch.

We talked more and more every day

And I learned who you really are.

I learned about your fears and favorite things,

Your childhood memories and passions.

Then before I knew it, I had fallen.

I fell in love with your energy, with your mind.

I fell in love with the way you look at me, the way you care.

The way you communicate and listen without judgement or malice.

The love you happily receive and return back tenfold.

I have fallen in love with every piece of you, 

Every inch of your mind and body.

And I will spend forever proving that to you.